What Does The Tinder Swindler And Inventing Anna Have In Common?

Inventing Anna became an overnight success for Netflix. The Tinder Swindler went viral and exposed the dating truth we face online, both for men and women.

So what do they have in common?

And why are we so drawn to them?

Anna Sorokin (Anna Delvey) and Simon Leviev share a drive for an opulent lifestyle, recognition and status.

Simon Leviev – The Tinder Swindler

They both are very charismatic, confident and won’t stop at any cost.

They are master manipulators in seducing their victims ruthlessly.

Yet, why on earth are people so drawn to them?

Anna Sorokin in Inventing Anna

They possess one common element that evokes deep attraction and traps their victims like quicksand.

They possess the DARK TRIAD.

“In psychology, the dark triad comprises the personality traits of NARCISSISM, MACHIAVELLIANISM, and PSYCHOPATHY. They are called dark because of their malevolent qualities.” (wiki)

Dark Triad individuals essentially have subclinical personality disorders and are likely to commit crimes and create toxic relationships.

Individuals with the dark triad personality tend to be more attractive because they focus on narcissistic traits as their bait for entrapment.

Studies also show that those with dark triad personalities do well in speed dating. The good news is that the guys I work with cannot succeed even in slow dating, let alone speed dating.

Looking high class and living a lavish lifestyle is the perfect pretext to suck their unsuspecting victims.

The glitz and glamour are too tempting for outsiders to resist who are in a dire need to inject some excitement into their life.

And then one taste of the thrill is enough to keep them helplessly wanting more like a drug addict.

I believe the initial appeal is we are in awe of their ‘gutsy’ energy.

Most people hold back, remain fearful and feel timid.

When someone comes along with the #nofucksgiven attitude, it sets something FREE within us. It librates us from repression we long to experience.

We also empathise with the preparators because there is a dark personality in us. And we naively believe they will eventually change for the better while keeping all their alluring qualities; maybe we can change them too.

So we become more forgiving because this cocktail mix can be lethal and unforgiving.  

On the flip note, most humans are good people who don’t go round conning.

You can cultivate this level of confidence and strength without being a psycho like Simon or Anna.

There are tools and techniques to unleash your power and magnetism without deception.