What is a ‘Nice-Guy?’
“Nice-Guy” is a popular slang/term to describe a certain artchtype of a male.
A nice guy is defined as someone who thinks they deserve to be in a relationship or have sex based solely on being nice.
A ‘Nice-Guy’ is also a man with low self-esteem, inferior complex and dormant charisma who overcompensates with clingy and needy people-pleasing behaviour, (being extra nice), especially towards women hoping that she’ll eventually sleep with him.
After all, he’s nice and not like the other jerks, therefore he expects that’s enough for a women to pay him attention and fall in love.
He is living a life of entitlement–or covert contracts–and when his needs are not met by others, he gets angry and resentful.
What’s Wrong With Being Nice?
There is nothing wrong with being nice, but…
A ‘Nice-Guy’ has an ulterior motive for his niceness—he wants something in return.
He strong beleivies that if he is not accommodating and kind, other people will despise him and ultimately abandon him. This is what scares ‘Nice-Guys’ the most – abandonment—and they’ll do anything to avoid it at all costs.
Why Do ‘Nice-Guys’ Finish Last With Women?
More often than not, these same guys will become obsessed with a woman hoping she’ll give him a chance if he builds friendship and pleases her in every way.
There are many potential reasons why nice guys might struggle with attracting women, and it’s important to remember that every person and situation is different.
However, some common reasons why nice guys might have difficulty finding romantic partners include:
They may not be assertive enough: Women often appreciate men who are confident and able to express their desires and boundaries. Nice guys who are too timid or hesitant to make their intentions clear may be seen as less attractive to potential partners.
They may put too much emphasis on being nice: While being kind and considerate is certainly a desirable quality in a partner, putting too much emphasis on being nice can come across as insincere or even manipulative. Women may be more attracted to men who are authentic and genuine rather than those who are constantly trying to please others.
They don’t have a strong sense of self: Nice guys who are unsure of who they are and what they want in life struggle to attract women they want. Confidence and self-assurance are attractive qualities in a partner, and women may be drawn to men who are comfortable in their own skin and able to stand up for themselves.
They are too available: Nice guys who are always available to their partners without setting clear boundaries or maintaining their own lives are seen as less desirable. Women are attracted to men who have their own interests and hobbies and who can balance their relationships with other aspects of their lives.
They hide their interest: Nice guys who are too shy or hesitant to show their interest in a woman may struggle to attract her because she instinctively feels his incongruency. This comes across as creepy. Women often appreciate men who are bold enough to make the first move and let them know that they are interested.
They may not be able to provide emotional support: Nice guys who cannot provide emotional support or comfort to their partners may struggle to attract and maintain relationships with women. Women often value men who can listen and empathise with their feelings and who are able to provide a sense of security and stability without fixing her issues or feelings.
They lack a strong social circle: Nice guys are usually isolated or do not have a strong social circle and often struggle to meet potential partners. Women are often attracted to men who are social and have a strong support network of friends and family.
They may have unrealistic expectations: Nice guys have unrealistic expectations about relationships, and women. Women are attracted to men who are realistic and grounded in their expectations rather than those who have idealised or overly romanticised views of love and relationships. Magical thinking is very feminine and feminine women are not attracted to feinine women.
They may be too focused on the woman: Nice guys who are overly focused on the woman they are interested in, to the exclusion of their own lives and interests, severely struggle to attract and maintain attraction. Women are often attracted to men who are well-rounded and have their own hobbies and passions rather than those who are solely focused on women like a thirsty school boy.
They are too passive: Nice guys are usually too passive and lacking in the initiative do not create chemistry. Women are attracted to men who are assertive and can take the lead in pursuing them and making plans. Nice guys who are too passive and hesitant to make the first move fearing getting it wrong or rejected are seen as less attractive.
They are too afraid of rejection: Nice guys who are afraid of being rejected never get to meet and date consistnely they women they desire. This fear of rejection is debilitating, causing nice guys to hold back and not take risks necessary to pursue a potential partner. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation and a sense that they are not worthy of love and happiness.
They may not know how to communicate effectively: Nice guys stuggle to communicate often causing attraction loss. They either talk to much, express too much and are over emotional in theri express, for her this comes accross feminine and not masculine. Other nice-guys are unable to article or communicate using emotions, so they come across boring and logical. Without effective communication, nice guys may struggle to form and maintain meaningful connections with women.
Meet a nice-guy named Ash who is shy and hesitant to express his feelings or go for what he wants in love. He has been obsessing about his co-worker, Maria, for years but has never had the courage to ask her out.
He fears rejection and doesn’t want to risk their friendship, so he keeps his obsessive feelings to himself. As a result, Maria never learns how Ash feels and starts dating someone else, leaving Ash heartbroken and alone. Despite being a kind and caring person deep inside, Ash’s lack of balls prevents him from pursuing the relationship he desires.
They are too focused on their partner’s needs: Nice guys who are overly focused on their partner’s needs are highly co-dependant. So when she’s happy, he’s happy. When she’s upset, he does everything to fix the situation but to no avail.
They are too insecure: Nice guys who are insecure about their own worth and value always struggle to attract the women they want. Women are often drawn to men who are confident and secure in themselves and who can handle rejection and setbacks without letting them undermine their self-esteem. Nice guys who are insecure may be seen as needy or clingy, which can be unattractive to potential partners.
A nice guy named David who is unsure of what he wants to do with his life, and who constantly seeks validation and approval from others, struggles to attract women..
They have poor social skills: Nice guys have poor social skills, such as being awkward or uncomfortable in social situations stops them from attracting women. For example, a nice guy named Alex who is shy and introverted and who struggles to make small talk or maintain eye contact may find it difficult to approach and talk to potential partners. His poor social skills may make him appear uninterested or disinterested, which can be unattractive to women. When Alex does talk to women, unfortunately, women see him as creepy.
In both of these examples, the nice guys’ lack of a strong sense of identity and poor social skills prevent them from being able to effectively connect with potential partners and form meaningful relationships.
They may not have a strong sense of humour: Nice guys who do not have a strong sense of humour or are too uptight usually fail to secure a second date. Humour can be a powerful tool for connecting with women and making them feel comfortable, excited and attracted. Women value men who can make them laugh and who have a playful, lighthearted approach to life’s struggles.
They cannot handle criticism, feedback or rejection: Nice guys get butt hurt quickly to critism and often get their backs up. They can become defensive, spiteful and angry. They lose their composure, aka masculine frame. Women are attracted to men who can handle setbacks and challenges with grace and resilience. Nice guys who are overly sensitive or take criticism or rejection personally are seen as unattractive.
They may not be able to provide stability: Nice guys who cannot provide stability and security may struggle to attract women. For example, a nice guy named Jake, who is constantly changing jobs and moving from place to place, may struggle to attract a woman looking for a partner who can provide a stable and secure environment.
They are too indecisive: Nice guys are usually indecisive and unable to make decisions which is a big turn-off to women. It shows that he’s unable to lead and be a strong masculine man. This is deep routed insecurities and a lack of confidence that fails to get women excited.
They avoid conflict: Nice guys avoid because it causes too much anxiety and he beleives that everyone should be nice.
They cannot maintain boundaries: Nice guys usually don’t know what healthy boundaries are let alone maintain them. For example, a nice guy named Kam, who is always available to his girlfriend and is unable to say “no” to her requests, struggles to keep her attracted.
They may not be able to provide emotional intimacy: Nice guys suffer with shame which prevents them being real, honest and respefctufl. As a result, he’s unable to build real intimacy.
They may not be able to provide passion and excitement: Nice guys are unable to ignite their passions, create a sense of excitement and adventure in their lives. Because of their overthinking, they become passive and lack chairsma energy.
They may not be able to overcome past traumas: Nice guys who cannot overcome past traumas and move on from negative experiences struggle to attract and connect with women. For example, a nice guy named Rob, who was emotionally abused by his ex-girlfriend and is unable to let go of the pain and hurt struggles to attract a new partner who is secure and looking for a healthy and loving relationship
They may not be able to learn from their mistakes: Nice guys often repeat their mistakes because he lacks the tribe to help them see their blind spots.