As a single man who may struggle with the “nice-guy syndrome,” it’s important to recognize and address four major fractures that can negatively impact your dating success as well as sex and intimacy.
Failure to address these fractures may prevent you from initiating attraction or cause you to inadvertently sabotage any potential connection, resulting in frustration and resentment.
Take the time to heal these fractures before entering the dating world to increase your chances of finding a fulfilling relationship.
These fractures are not limited to just “nice guys”; they can manifest in anyone. Therefore, it’s crucial to be cautious when selecting a partner and to pay attention to any potential flaws they may possess.
F1: NERVE FRACTURE:
“I can’t handle it”
The theory of nerve fracture suggests that individuals who experience symptoms such as emotional mood swings, nervous energy, and irrational behavior may be suffering from a fractured nervous system. This can lead to destructive actions and difficulty in social situations, such as on dates, where they may feel anxious and restless.
One key symptom of nerve fracture is the need for certainty and avoidance of conflict or challenges. This can lead to a highly chaotic and unstructured lifestyle, as well as an inability to focus on deep work or problem-solving. The individual may also experience fumbling for words and a blank mind under pressure, as well as a desire for everything to be smooth and problem-free.
The cure for nerve fracture involves a combination of physical and mental practices, including good sleep, breathwork, time out, walking, exercise, and a Mediterranean diet. By incorporating these practices into their daily routine, individuals may be able to reduce symptoms and improve their overall well-being.
- Emotional instability and mood swings
- Coping through addictive behaviours
- Nervous energy and fidgeting
- Overwhelming anxiety and stress
- Overreactive and explosive behaviour
- Hypervigilance and constantly on edge
- Need for certainty and reassurance
- Irrational and inconsistent thinking
- Tendency to exaggerate or overstate things
- Restlessness and difficulty with focus
- Avoidance of conflicts and challenges
- Tendency to talk too much or withdraw completely
- Difficulty with deep, focused work
- Difficulty expressing oneself under pressure
- Struggle with handling problems and setbacks
- Chaotic, disorganized, and lacking discipline
- Good sleep
- Time out
- Medetritan Diet
F2: SHAME FACTURE
“ I BELIEVE I’m not good enough”
The Shame Fracture is a debilitating psychological state that can be triggered by internalized beliefs of not being good enough. When individuals believe that they are not worthy, they may end up seeking self-worth in the wrong places, engaging in people-pleasing and perfectionism, and experiencing symptoms such as chronic loneliness, self-doubt, and body dysmorphia.
However, by removing limiting beliefs and instilling new ones, individuals can overcome the Shame Fracture and regain their sense of self-worth and confidence.
- People-pleasing and seeking approval
- Overachieving and trying to prove oneself
- Hesitant and timid behavior
- Comparing oneself to others and feeling envy
- Lack of boundaries and assertiveness
- Low self-worth and confidence
- Perfectionism and outward confidence
- Show-off behavior and seeking attention
- Indecisiveness and hesitation
- Feeling undeserving and not good enough
- Trying too hard, boasting, and bragging
- Extreme self-criticism and negative self-talk
- Inferiority complex and feelings of inadequacy
- Chronic loneliness and social isolation
- Body dysmorphia and distorted self-image
- Self-doubt and second-guessing one’s decisions.
- Remove the limiting BELIEFS and instil new one backed up with consistent action.
- Flip the script and language change.
- Reimage self
- Do hard stuff
- Share you vulnerability to safe people
- Build daily healthy habits
- Produce more than consume
- Learn new skills and focus on mastery
F3: EMOTIONAL FACTURE
“I FEEL unloveable as I am”
The way we experience and express our emotions can shape our lives in profound ways. For some, unresolved emotional fractures can lead to a range of self-defeating behaviours that can sabotage relationships and create a cycle of pain and disappointment.
In this context, feeling unlovable can become a dominant theme, leading to feelings of anxiety, fear of abandonment, and other symptoms that can take a significant toll on mental and emotional health.
However, with the right approach, it is possible to heal the emotional fracture and create a more fulfilling life.
- Anxious or avoid attachment
- Extreme fear of abandonment
- Uncontrollable Possessiveness, Jealousy and Obsessivness
- Co-dependant and Enmeshed
- Avoid conflict and Difficult Conversations
- Play the victim role & take no responsibility
- Toxic cycle loop
- Magical Thinking of Finding The One
- Devastated & collapses when a partner leaves
- Anger, resentment and bitter
- Covert contracts & unrealistic expectations
- Mintiuplatiive to get needs met
- Lying and Cheating
- Extreme Mood swings
- External emotional centre
- Emotionally immature
- If I’imperfect then I won’t left
- Oversensitive and easily offended
- Emotional Self-absorbed
- Start building your own life
- Get your own hobbies and interests
- Learn how to communicate and understand each other’s needs
- Learn to differentiate between your feelings and others
- Start setting and consistently enforcing boundaries
- Learn to let go and learn from difficult times.
- Understand that you’ll be ok even when abandoned.
F4: SEXUAL FACTURE
“I am WRONG for having sexual needs and wants.”
Sexual shame can be a powerful force that can fracture one’s sense of self-worth and impact their ability to connect intimately with others. Whether it’s a fear of not being able to satisfy a partner or feeling ashamed of one’s sexual desires or body, the impact can be significant.
This fear fracture can manifest in various ways, from performance anxiety to avoiding discussions around sex. However, it’s essential to recognize that these symptoms can be addressed with the right support and tools. In this article, we will explore the symptoms of sexual shame and offer some suggestions for finding a cure.
- Performance anxiety
- Orgasm disorders (Female Orgasmic Disorder, Premature Ejaculation, and Delayed Ejaculation)
- Lack of sexual boundaries or self-control
- Discomfort discussing sex
- Shame regarding sexual desires
- Fear of exploitation or being used sexually
- Lack of power or agency in sexual situations
- Body shaming and body dysmorphia affecting sexual confidence
- Using sex to manipulate or control others
- Porn and sex addiction
- Nervousness and anxiety surrounding sexual activity
- Dead bedroom or low sexual desire
- Hiding and feeling guilty about masturbation
- Find qualified professionals to help you address your innermost thoughts and addictions in a safe and confidential environment.
- Take steps to regulate your nervous system, such as through mindfulness, meditation, or exercise, to reduce stress and anxiety.
- Shift your focus from the end result having to achieve an orgasm to process.
- Practice open and honest communication about your desires, needs, and boundaries with partners or trusted friends.
- Establish clear and healthy boundaries around what behaviors are and are not acceptable in your relationships and interactions with others.
- Cultivate self-compassion and patience with yourself as you navigate personal challenges and setbacks, and celebrate your progress along the way.