The problem has never been who you attract; the problem has always been with whom you engage.
Read that again.
When I used to coach women, their biggest complaint was, “I keep attracting men who mess me around. How do I stop attracting these players? And where are all the good men?”
I encounter the same issue with the men I coach, especially those with the ‘nice-guy syndrome.’
“Why do I keep attracting crazy women? Where have all the good, feminine women gone?”
When you blame the outside world, you blame those you attract, indicating a stage 3 EGO FRACTURE.
When you look within, you’ll see that the issue arises from whom you are constantly engaging with, whom you respond to, whom you keep replying to, and whom you keep the connection alive with when you know you shouldn’t.
If you continue to engage with people who contribute to problematic dynamics, you will only co-create problematic relationships.
When you rely solely on intense chemistry and feelings, you blame those you attract when things inevitably go wrong. Your executive function—the logical part of your brain—is offline and unable to bring red flags for analysis.
When it does see red flags, you override what it has detected because you are so in love and anxious not to ruin the connection. You don’t want the magic to end. You live in denial until the infatuation wears off.
Shock horror!
When reality sets in, you see them for who they are. You blame them and play the victim card, indicating stage 3 EGO and EMOTIONAL FRACTURES.
It’s the same problem but with different faces.
Try this: Stop engaging with individuals who do not meet your standards and raise your standards of engagement. This advice applies to women too.
Those with stage 1 Fractures are secure individuals and will not engage in trouble.
Engage with high-quality individuals, and you’ll face high-quality challenges. Engage with low-quality individuals, and you’ll encounter endless drama.
To stop engaging with drama and fractured individuals, you must heal your 5 MASCULINE FRACTURES. Only then will you be admired, desired, and respected.