A packed restaurant must have good food.
Sold out concert tickets are a sign of good music.
And a man in a relationship or surrounded by women shows he’s sought-after.
A five-star review is enough for you to click ‘buy now.’
All of these correlations stem from one source: preselection.
Preselection is the natural human instinct to trust the judgement of those who came before you.
By delegating the scouting process to your predecessors, you no longer risk wasting time and resources on a product that isn’t valuable.
However, when it comes to dating preselection, this is possibly the only trait used by women to scout potential mates.
Studies have shown that women found men 85% more attractive when other women expressed they were attractive (Anderson, Ryan C., and Surbey, Michele K. (2014)).
With a risk-free, quality-guaranteed man in front of them, most women can’t resist the temptation to snatch him away.
The opposite is never the case. Why is that?
Why Preselection Only Works On Women
While women are infatuated with men that other women have deemed high-value, men have an opposite reaction.
They hate seeing a woman they’re attracted to surrounded by other men.
What’s the reason behind this discrepancy?
The answer splits into four sections:
1- Men Are The Competitive Gender
DNA tracing experts estimate that while 99% of women have reproduced, only 15% of men were able to pass on their genes.
This was revealed when they looked at the mitochondrial DNA (Always passed on by the mother) and Y chromosomes (Always passed on by the father) of hundreds of people from all over the globe, and one observation made it crystal-clear that few men won the genetic lottery:
The female inherited genes were diverse and different, while the male inherited genes had much less diversity, implying that in any society, the mothers outnumbered the fathers.
Without having a monopoly over their wives, men would never be able to know if the offspring was theirs or someone else’s.
3- Men Can Impregnate Multiple Women At One Time
Women would rather have kids with the best than raise them with a sub-par man, even if that means sharing with other wives or snatching the man from his wife.
While men can’t share a woman due to the fact that she can only have the offspring of one man at any given period of time.
4- Men Are Looking To Qualify, Women Are Looking To Disqualify
A man could look at a girl with unbearable personality flaws (BPD, Narcissistic, etc.), yet he still qualifies her as girlfriend material based on 1 or 2 desirable visual traits she has.
Women on the other hand, look for a socially well-rounded individual and constantly scan his character for any flaws that would disqualify him from being boyfriend material.
This is understandable behaviour as women have far more to lose if they end up with the wrong man.
Therefore it’s far easier for them to use other women’s judgement to decide whether or not the man is of high value, whereas men just choose without any prior consultation.
Now that we’ve covered why women are the only ones who use preselection, what are the categories that determine whether a man has what it takes to be “preselected”?
Let’s take a look at the 4 traits every man MUST have in order to be “preselected”:
Charisma is the “superpower” of attaining the answer of YES without ever having asked a question.
It’s a combination of emotional, social, and self-knowledge all expressed in one’s thoughts, words, and actions.
This magical ability makes your presence immediately missed when you leave a room and wholeheartedly enjoyed when you enter one.
One of my greatest demonstrations of charisma was by a classmate of mine in high school.
His name was Jeremy, and he was as average as you can get.
Nothing about nothing stood out to me.
Yet somehow, he was the most skilled player in my school. If your girlfriend went to my school, you are likely to be dating one of Jeremy’s exes.
So when I asked him how he did it, he just told me “Check this out”, and he walked up to a girl, spoke a few lines and came back with her number and a date lined up.
He simply oozed charisma, and that’s all it took for him to get a date like it was pre-ordered.
Preselection at its finest.
It was then I realised that tricks and games could only get you so far, and that charisma is an indispensable tool in any man’s dating career.
After that, I’ve witnessed many examples of men who’ve had it all:
- Handsome face,
- Chiselled body
…And STILL managed to mess up their chances with women due to a severe deficiency in their charisma.
And the exact opposite was prevalent as well.
Men who looked like monsters dating some of the finest women alive by using their charisma to market themselves as the hottest product in the dating sphere and letting preselection take care of the rest from there.
So to summarise it all up:
To a woman, there are 2 species of men:
Charismatic ones and uncharismatic ones.
So if you’re looking to join the ranks of the “preselected” elites you’ll definitely need to level up your charisma.
#2 Masculine Frame
Frame is the invisible boundaries you’ve set from the get-go.
There are 2 HUGE mistakes men always make when it comes to boundaries.
1- They only express themselves verbally
A lion doesn’t have to tell you not to touch it. You can tell from its frame what will happen if you do. This trait is equally vital in a relationship, and essential to any man trying to broadcast his value to the highest number of potential dates.
2- They wait too long to establish a frame in their relationship
The best time to establish a powerful frame is from the very start.
The worst thing you can do is sell a perception of you that doesn’t match the reality.
By wearing your nature on your sleeve, you show off your masculine confidence and give women a clear look at what they’re getting into.
Women go nuts for a man with a solid frame as it shows control and charisma without having to verbally express it. This is because they subconsciously know that relationships with frameless men are flimsy and surface level and always end with a devastating breakup…
The great thing about building a rock-solid frame is that once mastered, women will immediately recognise you as a “preselected” specimen. But here’s the catch, only a select few ever achieve this lofty goal and figure out the necessary steps to achieving a solid frame…
Read more about How To Maintain A Masculine Frame – And The Hidden Risks Of A Frameless Relationship!
Humans are very visual creatures. And that doubles for women. There is no greater insult to a woman than getting asked out by a man who didn’t take the time to groom himself.
A crucial way to hammer trigger a pre-selection bias in women is to optimise your wardrobe and have an eye-catching appearance.
You have to throw out the:
Will Smith in a very baggy grey suit with Jada Pinkett
- Loose and baggy clothing
- Superhero shirts
- Excessively bright clothing (Unless you have the confidence to rock it)
And swap them out for:
- Well-fitted clothes tailored to your size (Every man must have at least one set)
- Shirts that match the occasion
- Monotone colours (Black, white, grey)
Simple swaps right?
But it’s well worth it.
One of the men in my group had his style all wrong. He wore loose, bright-coloured, superhero shirts to his every date.
Needless to say, he was getting rejected constantly, and what made it even worse was that he was doing everything right. He was a physically attractive young man who had a lot going for him.
But due to his fixation on attraction-killing wardrobe choices, he didn’t even get the chance to show off his well-honed dating skills.
After months of being ghosted after the first date, he reached out to me. He desperately explained his story to me and the minute I heard it, I knew something didn’t make sense.
A man who looks after himself, charismatic, and confident do NOT equal failed 2nd dates. So I asked him to send me a picture of his wardrobe.
And the minute I saw that monstrosity, I gave him a list, and sent him straight to get stylish.
After he got his new fit, I told him to go do his exact same dating ritual.
And guess what?
He instantly got over his dating slump and has been consistently dating according to his new standards ever since!
#4 Status and Money
When you look at the heart of preselection, you’ll see that women are attracted to a man with the resources and position in society that women want, and men fear and admire.
This is very prevalent in the animal kingdom as well. When you place 5 male gorillas and 5 female gorillas in a cage you don’t get 5 couples. You get one “preselected” male gorilla who sweeps up all of the females, and the lesser ones who are forced to help with the child care.
It is all for the same reason: security.
The resources that a high-status male can provide (money or just the power in the gorillas’ case), gives women a feeling of security that is essential if she’s going to take the huge risk of carrying that male’s child.
So is becoming a millionaire your only hope?
Not at all.
What’s important is selling the image of a financially and socially powerful man.
This can be done with ‘perception’ such as:
- Going to restaurants where you personally know the staff.
- Being well known and respected in your city.
- Having a network of high-value men and women.
- Attending glamorous functions and parties.
- And posting the best photos on your social media that signal high-status.
All of these will make you look far more resourceful even on a tight budget.
If you sell an image of importance, that’s how the dating market will perceive you.
The most important thing about perception is that it’s got to be backed up. All show and no go will be eventually found out.
Having passion and purpose is the backing up of your persona. It’s not where you are now, but where you are going that is important, especially to her.
- Preselection is an essential trait for any man looking to stand out in the dating market and get the love life that he desires.
- By employing business-like strategies of capitalising upon the surrounding women’s expressed or implied attraction to you instantly raise your value in any woman’s eyes.
- As they say, a woman wants a man that other men want to be and other women want to sleep with.
- If you can broadcast yourself as a man that women desire, it doesn’t matter how busted up your face is, women will line up to talk to you and find out what makes you so special.
So go out there and use all of the 4 tips listed above to enjoy dating success like never before.