3 Ways To Get Out Of The Nice-Guy Bubble

It’s comfy to stay stuck.

It’s comfy to be the same.

It’s comfy to know what’s coming next. It’s natural. Homeostasis is a legitimate thing. But when it comes to personal growth and expansion of consciousness in all spheres of life, a bit more muscle training is going to be required.

In this article I will give you 3 workable ideas on how to move forward in your stagnant life and finally bust out of the nice guy bubble. 

1. Time Is King

‘All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us’ – Gandalf. 

We’re all given 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but we have the absolute FREE WILL to decide what to do with that time.

The ultimate investment in this life is self-investment, and that’s what we’ve NOT been taught at school. Invest in yourself. What you care about. Your work. Your destiny. Your people. Your passions. Everything you VALUE. Once you understand what it is you value, put the time into feeding those values, whilst retracting time wasted on bad unconscious habits. 

Set yourself a timeframe in which to do something. Otherwise, projects will go on indefinitely and you’ll just crash and live to regret it. I take a page out of my mother’s book: she was a full-time Professor and was constantly bombarded with deadlines.

She was allergic to timeframes and completing tasks in time, so she just blamed her failures on not having enough time. This is neurotic perfectionism. And neurotic perfectionism KILLS creativity and productivity. 

So just set up the time for yourself: between x and y, I’ll be concentrating all my energies on z. It’s that simple. Just keep doing it. 

2. Never Friendzone Or Undermine Yourself

Unconsciously, we all tend to friendzone ourselves, cockblock ourselves, and sink lower in order not to threaten other people. But, for instance, you have to position yourself as a potential Lover around attractive women, and you have to position yourself as a Leader of Men around other guys. Even if it feels completely NOT you. You’ve brushed your King archetype aside, and decided to play it safe by stepping down the social ladder. This is a Mind-Body-Spirit process.

In mind/ mindset: know that you are WORTHY and ENOUGH. People look up to you. Women fight over your attention. YOU are the prize! Always remember this. YOU are the Prize. 

In body, focus on improving your body awareness and body language. Stay fit. Do Chi Gong. Swim. Lift weights. Stretch. Do breathwork. Keep a good posture. Hold eye contact even if you’re terrified. Be cool and comfortable around all people and situations. 

In spirit, know that you are an Eternal Being having this experience. You’re a child of God, so don’t play it small. The world is yours! 

3. Meet Your Needs And Speak Your Mind (Fortune Favours The Brave)

This may seem like a no-brainer, but recovering nice guys really viscerally struggle with identifying their own needs and wants and meeting them. You have to really get YANG, but on your Warrior Helmet and actually forge through the fires of daily life and MEET THOSE FUCKING NEEDS even if it feels uncomfortable and if you experience crippling self-doubt and emotional paralysis.

Be brave enough to face your traumas and heal them. Forgive yourself for being a coward. Forgive yourself for not living your dream life. It’s never too late. And be brave enough to actually speak your mind, no matter what.

Even if you lose friends and family. If that happens, then they are not your people, and the more you speak up and be yourself, the more you will attract your own wonderful tribe who loves you and supports you. 

I personally have spent my life thus far being a diplomat. And diplomacy has its place. It prevents you from looking like an asshole with no manners. But that’s about it. If the situation is genuinely toxic and doesn’t actually serve your growth or expansion or your legacy, then don’t be afraid to burn bridges.

While it is important to uphold a reputation as a nice guy with balanced views, you won’t be a true Leader and Winner unless you bravely speak YOUR Truth and meet your needs, even if those needs are deemed as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ by certain people. 

Fortune favours the brave. The only way you get better at chess is by playing the masters and learning from them. But it’s not all copy and paste. Have the courage to be original and unique as well.